Is the Tent Collapsing?

Today after lunch, Bishop Joe, Mother Cait and I discussed the nature of God, the identity of matter and energy, and how our first conscious memories color our concept of God.  This evening, Cait is interviewing Joe for her book about their lives for the history of the Celtic Christian Church.  Cait writes like the Bard her heritage has prepared her to be.  And I am happy.  My whole life has been a preparation for this lovely, peaceful season­ of prayer, contemplation and community. 

An examination of the way modern people are attempting to be “spiritual rather than religious” led me to watch a show on Netflix called Wake Up.  I highly recommend it and am preparing a review of it for my other blog, “Critical Eye.”  What I want to mention here is the vision that the young man (Jonas Elrod) had.  He saw an empty big-top-style tent, supported from within by a structure that slowly collapsed, taking the tent down with it.  His eventual understanding of the vision was that the tent was institutional religion.  I would say that was a prophetic dream.

What are we leaving behind and towards what are we moving?  What do we lose if/when the institutional church disappears (either from our lives personally or actually)?  What do we gain if we personally leave the institutions behind? 

For me, the genius of the Celtic Christian Church lies in its monastic orientation.  We can discard buildings without losing community; we can serve upper class, middle class, even gangsta’ class people according to our individual vocations.  With the guidance of our Bishops, we range from academic circle communities to street people communities, to serving at science fiction conventions!  We can support ourselves by working in the real world and still minister according to our gifts, in such diverse places as baseball stadia and radio stations; as spiritual directors and as hospital chaplains. 

We come with an array of backgrounds, from Bishop Joe’s Ph.D. to those who graduated from high school and then went through our formation program.  We come from Roman Catholic, Old Catholic, Independent Catholic, Episcopalian and Baptist traditions, among other things. 

We are a diverse group of married, single, straight, gay, lay, religious and clerical people who love one another in an extraordinary way.  And even if the Celtic Christian Church does not survive the current generation of adults and elders, I believe the Celtic, monastic model will carry on serving the body of Christ because those who fall in love with God simply must share that love by serving others.  Love gives out of its abundance, requiring nothing in return.  “Without money, without price, why should you give your life, except for the Lord.”

In other words, from this point in my journey, it is clear that all will indeed be well.  Alleluia!

Shifting Sand

"Safe on the solid rock I stand; all other ground is shifting sand...."  This is from a well-known Christian hymn that came to mind today.  I have been reading  Pelagius, and a well-written novel about him.  The narrator observes at one point that the theological ferment in the church around 400 CE was concurrent with the crumbling of the Roman Empire.  He  says: "the worse conditions became in the changeable world, the stronger was the pull towards the eternal and unchanging citadel of God."

We see a similar process in America today.  The worse things become for the "average" American, the more polarized public opinion becomes, and the more desperately the Christian right seems to cling to its certitude. (Simultaneously becoming more and more hateful to the female of the species, in my observation.)

How then shall we find our safety on the Rock of Christ in such times?  Shall we condemn all those unlike ourselves as fools and conspirators with chaos?  Shall we retreat to our enclaves and ignore all those we think are wrong and/or dangerous?

I have been an activist of one kind or another for fifty years.  Now, pretty much forced into sedentary life by age and health issues, I sometimes feel angry and helpless in the face of what seems to be a descent into darkness foreshadowing the future of my child and my grandchild.  What role is there for me now on the path of destiny?

I think it is one of mentoring those whose vocation it is to be peace in the world and those who are called to stand up for the weak against the strong.  I also see it as one of exemplifying the ability to “live with the questions” which comes with age.  The latter is what I have been thinking about today.


Daily prayer and meditation have by the grace of God made for me a place within which is unaffected by the chaos without.  This is not a place where I know what is right and true regardless of others’ opinions or doctrines.  It is not a place where I am certain of everything and therefore unmoved by others.  

It is a place within where I am in relationship with the One Who loves us.  It is a condition in which I have no need to know it all or be the one with all the answers; it is rather a  condition in which I am loved utterly in spite of my fear or anger; a place from which I can admit that I have been wrong; that I have no idea what comes next. It is a place of assurance where. although my feet may be placed on the water, my Love holds me up, secure in the knowledge that all will be well.

I believe in the power of prayer, not to change God, but to change me.  I believe that I can pray for others in perfect confidence that my Beloved will carry that peace that passes understanding to others in the world, regardless of their challenges and circumstances.  I believe that constant contact with God in each of us can transform our world.  Therefore, I ask everyone who is a seeker: never cease in prayer and meditation.  Never, never leave His presence; he is our rock and our salvation.

Besides, He kind of likes us!
Amen.

Being Love

I have been thinking today about the people who dread and hate Valentine's Day because they don't have a "sweetheart."  I have been praying for them and wishing I could give them some of the great joy in my heart today. 

I have no  "sweetheart" per se.  I do have One Who loves me.  He is crazy about me; he would and has done anything for me.  I live so deeply connected to that One that I rarely get lonely. 

Sometimes I do; I am no saint.  I have days when my "skin hunger" hurts...there is no one to hug me or to "pet" me when I feel poorly or self-pitying.  I even have days when I don't believe in God.  I have times when I wonder whether I have lived my life deluded.

And then I go inside my heart's enclosure where He is and I rest in that soft, silent warmth  and I rejoice. So long as I keep to my spiritual practices, I live and breathe and have my being in God.  I am content.  I gave  up everything to Him and He gave it all back, full, pressed down and overflowing.

He will do that for absolutely anyone...He longs to do it...when you hurt, He hurts...Never, never stop seeking that place inside you where He dwells with welcome and a joyful smile just for you.

In His Love and Laughter,
Your friend,
Sr. Patti+

A Christmas Psalm

Welcome once more, O High King, to the world.

Welcome to suffering and sorrow, to cold and poverty.

Welcome to exclusion and harrowing grief.

Welcome into the battle for the Kingdom.

Teach us the art of peaceful war.

Lord of all creation,

Teach us to be the deepest peace of all,

The peace you give us.

Teach us to live without fear,

Walking lightly upon the earth,

Teach us to give ourselves away

To all in need.

Teach us to laugh at ourselves and our foibles.

Teach us to dance with the joy we own

As children of the Light,

As your beloved daughters and sons.

Teach us to recognize you

In all our brothers and sisters.

Teach us to be tender and kind with one another

As you are with us.

Welcome to the world, dear Lord.

Live in us and love in us

Bring us to union with God

Help us change the world.

Amen.

Our Father's Business

Isaiah says, “Sing for joy, O heavens, and exult, O earth! Break forth, O mountains, into singing! For the Lord has comforted his people, and will have compassion on his suffering ones”

In this dark time, when powers and principalities oppress God’s suffering ones, Christians can rejoice indeed.  For we are blessed, as once more we await with great anticipation the birth of the One Who loves us.  Unlike Isaiah, we know that all time has changed forever; eternity has already begun, for Christ is coming again to us, who were without hope. 

Let us love and serve one another with such great peace and joy that those who see us will be stunned that we, who do not have all the power and wealth of the great ones of the world, are happy.  We, for whom enough is a feast, always have sufficient to share, even when the powers of the earth will not. 

Let us dance lightly upon our way, with song and laughter to mark our journey.  We are no longer alone.  Together we are building the Kingdom of God.  Come  my brothers and sisters, we must be about our Father’s business!

Blessed Advent

In prayer, we dialogue with God “in spirit and in truth.”  One of my heroes, St. Teresa of Avila, said that such dialogue “is the gate through which all good things enter.”  It seems fitting to me to think about this in light of the beginning of the new church year with the First Sunday of Advent. 

I believe that it is through the banquet of our prayer that we can most effectively spread the gospel, radiating out to all whom we encounter, and to all for whom (and with whom) we pray the peace of Christ which passes all understanding.

Let us unite ourselves with the mystery of Advent.  This season of our encounter with God may well bring to birth in us the newborn likeness of Jesus, which we can carry with us into all our daily activities.  Let us devote a portion of our days during Advent to the kind of mental prayer which is intimate conversation between our souls and the Beloved. 

“Come, let us walk in the light of the Lord.”  (Is. 2:5)

“I will be as a wall of fire round about her and the glory in the midst of her”

Once there was an old teacher.  To her young student one day she said, “You seem afraid.”  The student affirmed, “I am about to launch out into the deep in a coracle with no oars.  The seas are wide and dark.  The otherlands are completely unknown to me.  I have no wealth and no weapons to protect me.  Must I go?”

The old woman gathered her robes around her and walked to the edge of the waters where a small hide boat bobbed, waiting on its tether for its pilgrim.  After a time of watching the sun polish the waters to brassy brightness, she spoke:

“Fear is ‘False Evidence Appearing Real’ is it not?”

“Yes, teacher.”

“You ask if you must go.  I ask you that question.  Must you go?”

The student sighed.  “I have been called.  Yes, I must go.”

The teacher sighed as well.  “It has been said that he that is in you is greater than he that is in the world.  Do you believe this?”

“I do believe it.”

“Then?”

But there was no reply, for the student had launched into the deep, and as she was taken by the current, the teacher could hear her singing:  “And I will be as a wall of fire round about her and the glory in the midst of her.”

The old woman on the shore whispered, “Amen.”

Thanksgiving

I am having one of those periods of having nothing to say.  When I look within, all is peaceful.  When I look without, the same.  I am happy.  I have some physical pain, and there is some emotional pain over not being with my kids during the holidays, but for the most part, all is well.  So….

Thanks be to you, O Lord, for happiness;

How I love you and our life together.

In the morning I give thanks for another day with you.

I rejoice with the rising sun;

And laugh with the playful breeze.

I am, all of me, right here, right now.

With you. 

Finding Him

Born in sorrow

Grown in chaos

We struggle to find love

To leave the world a little better

To give away something of ourselves

In hopes of showing just one person

The value of silence in times of confusion

            Of holding on for one more day.

Wise in pain

With suffering a friend

Comes our Beloved

With comfort and with courage

The lord of our quantum dance

Along the lines of probability

To teach us how to find each other

            Finding Him

My Father

I may have told this before, but in honor of Veterans Day just past, I offer it again.

The old man was dying.  He told his visitor about being a Marine in WWII.  He woke in the night in a jungle somewhere in the Pacific.  He saw a line of men passing just beyond the ridge above him and it occurred to him that Marines knew better than to walk a ridge line against the sky.  Sure enough they were the enemy Japanese.  He and his squad wiped them out.  He then walked around and shot each one in the head because “you can’t leave live enemies at your back in the jungle.”  He was 19 years old then.  Now he was over 80 and he still suffered from killing those men.  He looked at his visitor, broken.  The visitor looked at him with love and told him he could forgive himself because in time all would be well between him and those men, who also had had no choice. 

That man was my father.  I believe it was the first time I had truly met him.

Treasure in a Field of Despair

The sadness flows around me

I can neither explain nor escape it.

The sun shines but my heart weeps

An abyss of pain that overshadows all.

Small sorrows yield rivers of tears

I can only say, “Jesus, Son of David have mercy on me”

The disconnect between reality and my feelings

Is jarring

Crazy-making distance between

What’s going on and the wild cry

“What’s going on???”

The music of God is silenced by

Crashing metal noise.

My peace is hidden from me

Behind torrents of anguish.

Jesus, Son of David have mercy on me.

Yet what glint of dawn is this

Arising from the void?

What whisper there upon the wind

Sounds so tenderly sweet, so kind?

            It is the Lord, come with mercy

For me.

            O Jesus, Son of David,

Long have I loved thee.  Long have I sought thee.

And I would again enter the dark if it be thy will,

For nothing can separate us.  Love is stronger than death.

And the dark an illusion created by self-centeredness

And the weakness of humanity.

            O Jesus Son of David,

Let it be done unto me according to thy word.

Amen.

Angels in the Hallway

Once upon a time my sister was in the hospital for a biopsy.  Only two people could visit her at a time, so I was waiting my turn at the end of the corridor while our parents were visiting her.

All at once the hallway seemed to me to be filled with angels so tall and majestic they barely fit, their wings brushing the walls and ceiling, their very being shining almost too brightly.  Jesus was at the head of them.  He said quietly, “Come, let us comfort our sister.”  With that, he led them into the room.

I thought I had told her about it.  I never told our parents because they already thought I was crazy.  Apparently, I had not told her.  Mea culpa, Sister. 

My sister is so close to God she sometimes thinks it’s dark when she is simply standing in His shadow. 

Amen.

Jesus in the Rain

A certain woman had a dream.  In the dream, she was standing in the rain near the Sea of Galilee.  Not far off was a sort of shelter built of branches and thatched with leaves.  The woman walked over to see who was standing in the shelter, for she could only see a pair of sandaled feet.

When the woman came around the side of the shelter, she saw Jesus.  He wore a pair of jeans and a fisherman’s sweater.  He was standing there watching the rain dimple and ripple across the water.  He turned to her and smiled.

Amen.

The Pilgrim Horde

This is a post from another blog I used to write.  I thought I should share it here too.

 When I think about the People of God, I see them as a Horde of Pilgrims.  Some of them forge ahead, like scouts, finding new paths towards God, exploring byways and wildernesses.  Some report back, some do not.  Some lag behind, having found a pleasing place where they feel comfortable.

Some are slow because they are lame or otherwise handicapped, or because they cannot accept help along the way.  Others decide to settle down and make villages and families.  Some race about trying to convince others that their way forward is the most direct and safest path.  Some set up shop as professional horde guides and refuse to recognize that the entire group is actually headed in the same direction. 

Some build dwellings and say among themselves how good it is to dwell here together.  Many of that group practice a hospitality that enables the whole tribe to keep moving forward.  Some particularly fearful ones try to build walls to prevent others from falling off the edge of the world  and being forever lost.  Of course they won’t explore the other side of the wall, so they never realize how much of the tribe has discovered the wall is permeable and can be simply walked through.

They are infinitely diverse, this horde, and infinitely beautiful.  In a way each of them is Christ on His journey.  It is deeply transformative, this journey, and can be experienced as an adventure, as a perilous quest, as a miserable slog, even as a painful torment.  Much depends on whether or not the pilgrim is the center of her own universe, or whether Christ is the center of that pilgrim’s reality. 

As the least and most lame of the pilgrim horde, I am learning to let them be Christ to me, and to allow the Christ in me be what they see when they look at me.  I have fallen in love with the whole, crazy, clanging, loud, wild bunch of them.  I find them a fascinating, endless, wondrous creation, which shows forth the Glory of God.  I find us to be a fitting expression of the One Who loves us.

Amen.

Originally Posted on another of my blogs. Moving everything here.

Original post was dated March 26, 2013

Are you able to pray about it?

At lunch today in community we were talking about spiritual growth and how one can approach another about  that issue, and about praying for people who don't like us or whom we don't like.  Cait reminded us about the above question she has asked in the past, particularly of  those seeking spiritual direction, who were victims of abuse of some kind.

If we are able to pray about our issue, whatever it is, I think there is hope for healing and for growth.  If we are still suffering too much to pray, the suffering can be a kind of prayer, so long as we do whatever work we must do to ensure it will make us stronger and more wise, rather than smaller and more self-centered.  If we let our suffering become our identity, we can get stuck at our current level and be unable to move on, until we get out of our own way again.


My sister and I began a book, but I got stuck.  I have nothing original to say; the only things unique to me are not actually unique in the world, but maybe the way I express myself might help another human being somehow find the hope to keep on keeping on. (Sr. Sheila, if you have made any pictures for our book, send them on to me and I will post them with the relevant posts in this blog.)

So...are you able to pray about it?  If not, just sit still anyhow, for at least three minutes a day, even if you have to pretend it will make a difference.  As time goes on, if you are faithful to this practice, you will find yourself changing, slowly, until you come to look forward to the sitting still.  You will begin to know interior peace, and growing comfort in your own skin.  You may find, if you are of a certain personality type, that you come to need an hour a day of this.  Other types of persons do better with a rosary or with holy reading, or even walking the dog.  The important point is the faithfulness to the practice, and the intention to grow into conscious contact with the God of your understanding. 

Whoever you are, wherever you are, I am praying for you my brothers and sisters to come to know intimately the One who loves us.  Faithfulness to the practice will, I promise you, change you utterly and you will know you are loved and you will find peace. 

Vows for the 21st Century

http://ncronline.org/news/sisters-stories/poverty-chastity-obedience-traditional-vows-redefined-21st-century

The above is a link to an article in NCR which I highly recommend for anyone who wants to understand why a modern woman would seek to live a vowed life, and how she might view those vows. 

Love and prayer, Sr Patti+

"Prepared for Red Martyrdom"

A mind prepared for red martyrdom [that is death for the faith].

Do not hesitate to sacrifice your own comfort and security and even your life for the sake of your Faith, which is in Christ Jesus.

Reflection:    While this is not likely unless one travels to an Islamic land and tries to evangelize, we are nonetheless required to demonstrate the same level of commitment as the early martyrs.  We must speak truth to power; we must pray for the courage to take risks, to step out of our comfort zone.  For some of us the challenge may be to accept that we are doing the best we can and that it is in fact all right to be happy!  My faith in Christ Jesus tells me that I am deeply loved, and that there are no limits or conditions on that love.  Neither must I withhold the least thing from my Beloved.  Daily I grow more grateful for the Rule and for the Order.

(Note:  I am writing in a larger font so I can read it myself!)

Bullying

I can't believe we are still having this problem in the 21st century, especially among those who profess to follow the God of Love.

About bullies:  I am too old to stand by silently while anyone bullies anyone else.  I specifically refer to the way some men feel it incumbent upon themselves to win every argument and be the smartest guy in the room by being condescending and rude to women or to those who have less status or education.  Anger is my besetting sin, but there is anger and there is speaking truth to self-appointed power!

 I am also sick of being told to grow up because some man can’t handle hearing the truth of how he comes across.  “It’s not about your feelings,” is an inadequate response and a distancing, detached, arrogant thing to say.  One who says such a thing is deliberately attempting to get away with less evolved behavior by appealing to the stereotype of hysterical woman.  It also changes the point of the discussion from what was being discussed to posturing. 

 If you want to talk with me, we can even disagree, but not if you start coming at me with delusions of superiority.  Not to mention the arrogance to assume that you know me and that I must have come from money…me!  My Dad drove a taxi.  My Mom worked for a doctor as a receptionist.  Not a dollar between them for college for us kids.   

 I worked my way through to a degree in my sixties because I wanted to be a priest; believed I had been called to minister to gangsters, prostitutes, drug addicts and other poor persons.  I am going to go for a Master’s in Theology and then a Ph.D. in Peace Studies.  I will pay for this out of my pittance of Social Security and do without vacations and new clothes and trips to visit my kids.  And if I don’t live that long, so what?  I don’t base my self-worth on my education.  I don’t denigrate it, but my real legacy is in the people I’ve helped over the years.

Thanks for letting me rant.  Whew!  Now I feel better. 

Criminalizing Homelessness

I have been thinking about a recent horrible decision in North Carolina (the latest of several places) to criminalize homelessness.  It has been said that, “The poor are driven into hiding and the rich lay waste to the land.”  Nothing ever changes, eh?

 

I would be willing to bet there is a shareholder of a for-profit prison in there somewhere.  I would also be willing to bet he or  she thinks of him/herself as a Christian.  So when the time comes, and Jesus says, “I was homeless and you put me in jail,” will that be a shock, do you think?  I remind myself that Jesus spoke truth to power.  For me at my age that means letter and blog writing.  I see our country drifting blissfully into a police state that could make Soviet Russia look like an anarchist’s dream.  

Aside from the above rant, how can I humbly imitate Christ?  By being the message, which is more important than any amount of words…to be the love that I wish to see in the world, I must be “transformed by the renewing of [my] mind.”  I must put on the mind of Christ and live from the ground of my being.  When I do that, I can even love the ones I’d like to shake silly.  What they do is not all right, and I won’t sit by and not speak up.  But I can pray for God to strike them holy!  

If I were a minister in that town, I hope I would close my church and post a notice that it was “For Lack of Christians in this Town.”  Then I hope that I would join the homeless in refusing to move on and get arrested with them.  

Since I am too old and crippled to do that, I can dwell in the silence with the One Who loves us all, and pray for the world that is so cruel.  And for myself, who is so judgmental.  And for all of us who suffer in a world that is increasingly dedicated to profit and the destruction of community.

Mercy Upon Mercy

I was praying this evening, and was reminded of this fragment of a poem-prayer by Thomas Merton, which I thought I would share with you today.

“Have you had sight of Me, Jonas My child?

Mercy within mercy within mercy.

I have forgiven the universe without end because I have never known sin.”

Mercy is our special vow and the particular charism of our Order.  God created the universe, and it was and is good.  God’s mercy sees only that which God is, which is good.  Let us pour out mercy upon the world and walk humbly by the gift of His mercy into the Kingdom.   Amen.