Living With Uncertainty

We must develop a deep confidence in God in order to lose our anxiety over the future.  We must live in the now to avoid “paying dues” of worry about things beyond our control.  Trusting our own wisdom and planning may satisfy our need for control of our circumstances, but how realistic is it, and how surrendered is it?  How can we achieve this deep confidence in God?  I am not referring to some shallow “Oh, it’ll be all right” positive thinking practice. I am talking about the kind of assurance that a child resting in her mother’s arms knows. 

How do we order our priorities to facilitate a life of contentment and confidence in the providence of God?  HHHow should our thinking and our activity differ from those of unbelievers? 

Perhaps it begins with putting God first.  We should not worship the American idols of money, property, power, prestige, etc.  We worship the ground of reality, our source, our Beloved.  If God is first, all else will fall into proper place.  But how?

Just as when I was first getting sober, I find I must keep watch on my thoughts, my emotions, and the state of my body.  I must not get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired.  If my body is tense, I must take a walk, or punch a pillow, or yell at God for a while.  Simple breathing exercises work best for me.  If I have given my day to God, and find I have taken it back to worry about something, I take a prayer break.  A “red light” should go on for me if I succumb to worry.  My first recourse at that point has to be to God. 

I must do whatever is required of me in my state in life.  I don’t expect God to pay my bills for me, or magically remove my health problems, or the results of years of suffering from my own sins.  But once I have done all I can do, I can safely leave the past behind me and the future to its own devices.  I will not be given tomorrow’s strength today.  I will not be given tomorrow’s peace today.  But I will lose today’s strength and today’s peace if I miss today by dwelling in the past or future.

Mother Cait talks about balance.  This is rare, I think.  I strive towards it and try to give myself a break for not being perfect.  I have a vocation to live out the charism of mercy.  I pray God that I will receive mercy and that I will pass it on.  That can only happen right here, right now.  Let me live in the now, Lord, where You dwell.

I know one thing with certainty:  I am my Beloved’s and He is mine!

The Spiritual Works of Mercy

Let us approach the spiritual works of mercy, which we are taught are:

                To admonish sinners.

                To instruct the ignorant.

                To counsel the doubtful.

                To comfort the sorrowful.

                To bear wrongs patiently.

                To forgive all injuries.

                To pray for the living and the dead.

I suggest that in the 21^st century we should consider these works globally as well as individually.  What are the global sins that should be admonished?  What systems of power and domination should be challenged that maintain people in ignorance of their beauty and their personal value, indeed of their rights as human beings?  How can we help those who are bound by doubt of their own rights and responsibilities, or by the way their wounds make them act out?

Note that we are admonished to bear wrongs patiently…where is the line between that patience and abuse?  How do we learn to forgive in a way that heals us, even if the other party does not care about forgiveness? 

Praying for the living is fairly obvious; we regularly do this and ask others to do it.  Prayer for the dead in this day and age should include the spiritually dead, and extinct species and other living things of the world. 

We are works in progress, we Christians.  We can only begin to glimpse the Kingdom during our lifetimes…let us work at the spiritual works of mercy with a view to uncovering more and more of the Kingdom within ourselves and in our world.

The Corporal Works of Mercy

Jesus told us, “Whatsoever things you do to the least of these, my brothers, you do it unto me.”  This post is about the corporal works of mercy, which are listed in the catechism as:  to feed the hungry, to give drink to the thirsty, to clothe the naked, to harbor the harborless, to visit the sick, to ransom the captive, and to bury the dead.  (Matthew 25:41)

We can serve Christ in one another in these ways, thus giving out of the abundance of our love for God to any who have such needs, and thereby building up the Kingdom.  We don’t do these thing to rack up spiritual “points” in our favor.  We do them because we love one another as Christ loved us.  We do them because we get so full to bursting with the love of God that we just have to do something to share the love. 

Not everyone is physically capable of carrying out these corporal works of mercy.  There are those who are called to do them as a way of life, however, and we can support them by donations of money or in kind, to further their ministry.  And there is always the chance someone will ask us personally for help.  We do what we can with the gifts we have.

When I was young, and my brother was about seven, I was doing my homework when someone rang the doorbell.  I wasn’t paying much attention, but when I saw Steve take a couple of hot dogs to the door and come back without them I asked, “Who was that?”  He replied, “I don’t know.  Some hungry guy.  Might have been an angel.”  He just shrugged and went back to his television show.  It stuck in my mind because I remember thinking, “Wow, Mom sure taught him right.”  To a child it is a matter of a simple need being met.  If I have more than my share of the world’s goods, it is important to me as a Christian to share with those who have less.  Oddly, it is the poor who are most generous. 

If I am poor, I can share what little I have.  I can also practice the other works of mercy.  Visiting the sick or housebound is a precious gift of time we can give.  We can visit prisoners with a local chaplaincy program.  We can volunteer in a homeless shelter or soup kitchen.  We can find hundreds of ways to serve just by looking at our local church or on line. 

Doing these things makes us better people.  Doing them without blowing our own horn about it is the most valuable way of all.  My Mom used to say that if you got caught doing a good deed, it didn’t count.  I think my Mom was much more spiritual than I ever gave her credit for being.

Most of us are not called to do all of these works all of the time.  But if we pay attention, we will find the opportunities that have been sent to us….like an angel at the door who needs a couple of hot dogs.

 

Some Thoughts About Love

“Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

            1 Cor. 13: 4-8

In other words, love is as love does.  Love is an action word.  It concerns itself with the other, not with the self.  When we are a channel of the love of God, we get out of the way and let God love through us.  In so doing, we are changed utterly. 

Loving someone may mean telling them no.  It may mean speaking truth to power.  It may be risky.  But it is our great joy as well.  It is love that keeps us going when we can’t go on.  In the end we realize it is God’s love that is and has been doing that all along. 

This kind of love is not shallow or sentimental.  It is not romantic love as the teenager would have it. It is not even erotic love.  This is the love that is stronger than death.  This is the love that throws itself into the fray with joy knowing that the battle is with powers and principalities, and will cost us everything we are.  Knowing that in dying to self, we are born to joyful life. 

Because he first loved me, I can dance in the rain, laughing at illusory fears.  Because he rescued me, I can leave it all on the field when I pass through the veil, knowing that there too, I will be available to love all in all. 

Don’t believe me?  That’s all right.  Take the actions you would take if you did believe it.  Moment by moment, day by day, you will come to see that the hard work is being done in you by the One who loves us all.  Bit by bit you will realize you have become happy, independent of all the people, places or things around you.  You will know peace.  You will become the change you would like to see in the world.  See you there!

Hope

Hope is not a momentary flicker.
Hope is Eternity's slow, steady,
Illumining and fulfilling height.

--  Sri Chinmoy

Hope, I think, is that which keeps us moving forward in spiritual darkness.  It is born of faith and fed by sacrament.  It grows with praxis and makes gentle the spirit.  Not a mere dedication to “positive thinking,” hope survives the most horrific events because faith gives meaning to life. 

Hope is that which permits us to ask, at the end of our rope, “Help me.”  Hope grows in light of the knowledge that we are loved by the Beloved.  It makes us get up one more time and try again. 

Hope is fed by love.  Love that is given by us and love that we give both nurture hope.  Hope is a great gift, best grown within one’s self by giving it away.  We can be utterly helpless and still have hope. 

Hope understands that the One Who loves loves us utterly and entirely and wants us to be happy.  Hope dances in the dark, laughing at illusory fears, knowing that with the dawn, the King is coming and all will be well.

Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

A certain Bishop of an Independent Catholic Church was in the news today because he was arrested for falsifying government papers.  Specifically, he was signing off on community service hours for probationers who would give him “hugs” of a rather intimate nature.  This same man has apparently also served federal time for mortgage fraud.    

I write of him because his web site shows a picture on its Vocations page of my own Bishop, Joseph A. Grenier, Ph.D., ordaining a woman priest of the Celtic Christian Church, of which Bp. Grenier is the Presiding Bishop.  Another priest of the CCC is also pictured.  The implication is that the CCC has something to do with the church presided over by Charles Leigh.  It does not.

I find it deeply offensive that this picture is presented on a page Mr. Leigh presumes to copyright in his own name.  It is not captioned, nor properly attributed.  It is therefore fraudulent.  There are far too many people out there who prey on the marginalized in our world. 

As a Board Member of the Celtic Christian Church, as well as a priest owing obedience to Bishop Grenier, I intend to demand that the picture be removed.  Bishop Joe is a holy and prayerful man.  The CCC cannot permit any suggestion that it is in any way associated with this wolf in sheep’s clothing.  I will pray for this man, but I will not legitimate his claims to holiness in any way, shape or form.  It is an insult to our many truly good priests, who have, by the way, passed a police background check and a psychological evaluation prior to ordination.

I delayed all day long in writing this because it so infuriated me and I do try not to speak in anger.  After praying all day and consulting my Abbess, I have decided that not to speak would be wrong.  May the High King of Heaven protect those who sincerely try to serve the People of God.  Amen.

Faith

“If the thought ever comes to you that everything that you have thought about God is mistaken and that there is no God, do not be dismayed. It happens to many people. But do not think that the source of your unbelief is that there is no God.

“If you no longer believe in the God whom you believed in before, this comes from the fact that there was something wrong with your belief, and you must strive to understand better that which you call God.”
(Leo Tolstoy 1828 – 1910)

There are many quotes about faith which I have considered to start this post, but I like the above quote best today.  

I know a man who has evidently never had a peak experience that changed his life.  I think that man is a living saint.  I think so because “Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.”  This man has lived his entire life in the path of God because he believes.  He chooses the right, and suffers when he must endure what is not right.  He is single-hearted in his love of God.  

Choosing the right because it is right can get very, very old.  The “everydayness” sets in and we are tempted to the darkness because it offers excitement and change.  The whole American culture is addicted to breaking things and killing people even in its entertainment, not just in its global domination.  The rest of entertainment tends to be about sex, which is used to sell everything.  There are people who are famous just for being famous.  Warhol’s prediction about everyone being famous for 15 minutes has pretty much come to pass, in this age of global media and the internet.  

What, then, is faith good for?  Another American question.  If something has no immediately evident utility, or visible purpose, or is not profitable, why bother with it?

I suggest that what faith is good for, is a good grasp of reality.  Faith is good for realizing we are not the center of the universe.  Faith that we live and move and have our being in God is good for health and long life.  Faith can keep us choosing the right and refusing to harm ourselves or others when our character defects are out of control.  

In my case, faith keeps me going in spite of chronic pain and the knowledge that I may have done more harm than good in my life.  I need to live long enough to do more good than harm.  I need to do that because I have had a peak experience that changed me forever.  I have had more than one such experience.  The Hound of Heaven has been after me since I was born, and I no longer run.  Knowing people such as the man I mentioned above is such an experience.  

When I was four years old I nearly died.  I experienced that as getting out of my body and waiting to see whether it would live or die.  I knew that if I died, there was somewhere else to go and someone there waiting for me who loved me unconditionally.  

I had another experience of basically being “struck sober.”  I hit bottom and went to AA and haven’t had to take a drink in over 35 years.  I frequently have prayer experiences of being silent in the presence of he One Who loves us, in the way two old people sit together in loving silence and have no need for words.  

I am so different from who I was as a child that I ought to have a different name.  Well, maybe I do.  I am now Sister Patti.  I live to serve, and I am happy.  My faith sometimes wavers in spite of all my blessings.  But when I do what I ought to do every day, my faith grows strong, and I am happy.  

Be happy.  Have faith, even if you don’t believe it yet.  Just take the actions you would take if you did believe it.  

Love and prayer for all.
Sr. Patti+