Faith

“If the thought ever comes to you that everything that you have thought about God is mistaken and that there is no God, do not be dismayed. It happens to many people. But do not think that the source of your unbelief is that there is no God.

“If you no longer believe in the God whom you believed in before, this comes from the fact that there was something wrong with your belief, and you must strive to understand better that which you call God.”
(Leo Tolstoy 1828 – 1910)

There are many quotes about faith which I have considered to start this post, but I like the above quote best today.  

I know a man who has evidently never had a peak experience that changed his life.  I think that man is a living saint.  I think so because “Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.”  This man has lived his entire life in the path of God because he believes.  He chooses the right, and suffers when he must endure what is not right.  He is single-hearted in his love of God.  

Choosing the right because it is right can get very, very old.  The “everydayness” sets in and we are tempted to the darkness because it offers excitement and change.  The whole American culture is addicted to breaking things and killing people even in its entertainment, not just in its global domination.  The rest of entertainment tends to be about sex, which is used to sell everything.  There are people who are famous just for being famous.  Warhol’s prediction about everyone being famous for 15 minutes has pretty much come to pass, in this age of global media and the internet.  

What, then, is faith good for?  Another American question.  If something has no immediately evident utility, or visible purpose, or is not profitable, why bother with it?

I suggest that what faith is good for, is a good grasp of reality.  Faith is good for realizing we are not the center of the universe.  Faith that we live and move and have our being in God is good for health and long life.  Faith can keep us choosing the right and refusing to harm ourselves or others when our character defects are out of control.  

In my case, faith keeps me going in spite of chronic pain and the knowledge that I may have done more harm than good in my life.  I need to live long enough to do more good than harm.  I need to do that because I have had a peak experience that changed me forever.  I have had more than one such experience.  The Hound of Heaven has been after me since I was born, and I no longer run.  Knowing people such as the man I mentioned above is such an experience.  

When I was four years old I nearly died.  I experienced that as getting out of my body and waiting to see whether it would live or die.  I knew that if I died, there was somewhere else to go and someone there waiting for me who loved me unconditionally.  

I had another experience of basically being “struck sober.”  I hit bottom and went to AA and haven’t had to take a drink in over 35 years.  I frequently have prayer experiences of being silent in the presence of he One Who loves us, in the way two old people sit together in loving silence and have no need for words.  

I am so different from who I was as a child that I ought to have a different name.  Well, maybe I do.  I am now Sister Patti.  I live to serve, and I am happy.  My faith sometimes wavers in spite of all my blessings.  But when I do what I ought to do every day, my faith grows strong, and I am happy.  

Be happy.  Have faith, even if you don’t believe it yet.  Just take the actions you would take if you did believe it.  

Love and prayer for all.
Sr. Patti+